Konor & Zilya » November 2007 Journal Entries » AboutMyBaby - online baby scrapbooks, photo albums, videos, birth and pregnancy announcements

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Sat, Nov 24, 2007 3:47 PM
1) The whole "fake" thing: I don't know... I think a lot of mom's first impression is that their child doesn't need the fake stuff - but then after you lose so much you either get the picture or quit or go to natural pageants. My daughter has been competing since she was 5 months old, and she didn't start really wearing the makeup and hair until she was 2. For awhile, she balked at lashes, so we didn't do them. But then she saw other kids getting them and she decided to have them, but only I can do them on her (she won't let anyone else.) The hair is really no big deal, because the bulk of the work is on the wiglet or fall (it takes me about two hours to roll a fall and about 5 min to get it on her head and fixed) and it spares the child's hair from damage from so much teasing and curling etc. I'm not crazy about the tanning, but she doesn't mind it and we actually have our own machine; and now instead of damaging my skin, my husband tans me with it...

2) Yes, pageants are expensive. I have a professional job and make a very good living and my husband is in a solid trade. We can only afford 2-3 nationals a year, maybe 2-3 state level pageants, and a few locals here and there. And it's not just money, it's time. My son and husband play a lot of golf, so princess and I have this as our "girl thing" to do. Although my daughter is showing some interest in golf, but they won't really start her at the club until she is 6 (she's four.) A lot of other hobbies can be other-worldly expensive, so I don't see the expense argument as a case against pageants.

3) No, I'm not too concerned about pedophiles. I noticed the comment about how you thought the gentleman with "Kennedee Belle" was looking at you with disdain, but he was probably checking you out - the pageant community is a very familiar group and we
are very wary of strangers (probably a journalist he thought.) Most of us know who the kids and their groups are and it's a pretty tight community. If ANY stranger comes in, or we see anyone who doesn't belong to someone participating, we immediately take notice.
Pageants are not put on for strangers or advertised as such for the very reason we don't want a bunch of weirdos there. I don't purport to be educated about pedophiles, but it seems like from the news they prey on kids that they have easier access too. I side with
the other mom, if anyone even looks at our kids funny it's all we can do to restrain from tearing them from limb to limb. It would be interesting to have a thinktank do a study about how many pageant kids have been (for lack of a better term "attacked") via pageantry. I respect facts, and so far really neither side of the love pageants/hate pageants has come up with any.

4) When they children are babies it's not about them for sure; anyone who says differently, is not honest with themselves. My daughter is 4 and she is now getting to the point where she understands win/lose. The natural pageants are REALLY about who is the prettiest, vs glitz where it's more about performance, smile, modeling, clothes etc. It's hard to explain to a child that she lost because another child was actually prettier than her. It's easy to explain "you need to pay attention on stage and look at the judges, or let's get you a new dress, or you need to smile more..." Then they feel more in control of the situation. You can't change what you were born with but you can improve your modeling and your clothes, and your smile etc. That's hard to explain, but hey! I gave it a shot.

As far as "bribery"... I do give my daughter a small treat or gift after each competition she enjoys being on stage, but the treat is like the icing on the cake! I give my son small
monetary rewards or gifts for good grades or when he reaches certain goals for himself (homerun on the ballfield, or does well at a golf tournament etc.) I don't much see the difference.

5) It's funny, the mentality of the public is that pageant kids don't do another damn thing. For some reason, I don't know why, people think we lock our children up like "show dogs" or something. I think to only participate in pageants would definitely be unhealthy. Only doing one activity of anything is unhealthy if you ask me. I had a friend growing up who was heavily involved in ballet, and she was MISERABLE. She was extremely talented, but her mom-from-hell wouldn't let her do ANYTHING else. So craziness can go for a lot of things. My daughter plays intramural soccer at school, she snow skis (started when she was 2 and she KICKS ASS on the slopes!!!) and she goes to dance lessons once a week. And the biggest title she ever won she had not one, but two skinned knees. I can't do theatre with her because I work and it takes way too much time and we live too far from the city. Plus I hate those musty old theatres. I also hated girl scouts when I was a kid, if I never see another damn cookie it will be too soon. BTW back to the snow skiing, the director was just so all over about my daughter's ability he was begging to have her back for some demo they were doing for the school (Lordy she was only 3.) When I told him she couldn't because she had a pageant that particular week the look on his face was priceless!! And in a couple of weeks I'm taking BOTH of the kids to help volunteer at the Special Olympics (It's a blast, you should try it.)

6) Like it or not, our society objectifies women. So instead of acting like it shouldn't happen, I say meet the devil head on and deal with it. Know how to use what you have. And not sexually either so get your head straight on this. If appearances don't matter, why take a bath and brush your hair to go to work? Why wear a suit to an interview? Do ties really add IQ points? These pageants aren't just about who's the prettiest, most often, it's about who can make the most of what they've got. It sucks and its wrong, but it's life. Both my kids go to private school, and I was actually "horrified" (if you can believe I am capable of that) because a mom in my son's second grade class had dyed her child's hair (and I did ask if she did pageants - the answer was NO and she was horrified about the thought). So lots of people can have mixed up priorities!!

7) Some of "The line" for me with pageants:
- screaming at your child or punishing them for "inadequate" performance
- spending way beyond your financial means
- telling your child she's not pretty w/o her pageant items
- dying a child's hair
- bashing and being ugly to others
- losing ungracefully
- winning ungracefully

8) About the respected "experts", it really depends. If they come with FACTS I would consider it. If they come with opinions, I'm smart enough to make my own thank you after reviewing a LOT of information. I've had enough cases where doctors have been wrong to have a healthy disrespect for one or two opinions.

9) Finally, I'm a pageant mom who did pageants as a child - I didn't start until I was 8 and it was my idea (had to BEG my parents to let me do one.) Unfortunately, adolescence was not kind and I had to be "talented" for a long time before I could be "pretty". You want to hear a funny story, I tried FOREVER to WIN a pageant, and my first uh, "major" title (and I'll give away who I am to a very select few if you print this) was Miss HELL HOLE SWAMP. And No, I didn't make that up. Go Google it!!! Best thing that ever happened to me, but funny as well, hell.

10) Why glitz pageants? You won't understand this answer for the life of you but we've done both – and frankly, the natural pageants just aren't as much fun... there's no excitement of having Mr. Tim sing to you (which my daughter gets sooo EXCITED about), the loud music, the momma's hollering, the getting ready with all your friends, prissing down the hallway in your glitzy clothes, the big party on Saturday night, staying in a hotel room with other mom's and your friends, going out to eat in big groups talking about how so-and-so did such-and-such on stage... I already KNOW my daughter is pretty so I don't need to know if she can win naturally, I really don't have to have that kind of acceptance. We went to a "middle of the road" pageant recently and they had little girls in the glitz pageant dresses w/o the hair and makeup etc. and frankly that looked weirder than with. So to end the tans and flippers etc. you have to end the loud music and the clothes and the sportswear and the routines...what would happen would be the end of glitz pageants. You just don't have the level of fun and excitement at a natural pageant that you do at a glitz pageant. Now I can't help it if you get a few mom's or dad's with mis-placed perspectives when they get there.

Another perspective on glitz in general: Years ago when I was involved in the Miss America program for our state (I went twice as a preliminary winner.) It was at the height of Miss America's popularity (okay my age is showing LOL.) Back then the dresses were over the top glamorous, and we wore the tape under our boobs and had spectacular costumes and spectacular talents etc. There were wigs, and breast implants and every one of us was two bites shy of an eating disorder ;o) Swimwear was a higher percentage of our score too. Then the Miss America program decided they didn't want to be a beauty pageant anymore and really pushed the whole "smart girls" in plain dresses. You had to get a platform and perform community service. You have to write an essay. It wasn't as glamorous anymore. That's great, but unfortunately on tv people don't care you wrote a great essay, they just want to be entertained! It's not "right" and it's shallow and it's not politically correct, but it's human nature. And then they wondered why nobody wanted to watch anymore. However, if you think all the girls who participated back in my day became "bimbos" think again. A couple became doctors, my friend the ballerina owns a HUGELY successful dance school in the lower part of the state, I'm an IT manager for a large international corporation (I sooooo which I had stayed in something more bohemian though.)

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Sun, Nov 18, 2007 9:51 PM
"Christmas Guy!, hey christmas guy"

Ha Ha.... that was and is what Konor is calling Satan claus...I mean Santa... hee hee...

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Fri, Nov 9, 2007 7:13 PM
Konor went for his evaluation at Pediatric Occupational Therapy this morning. I was concerned about some of the 'odd things' he does. He has always just been different to me.
Well, she did all kinds of tests. I filled out a 4 page booklet last week, x where my concerns were. Most didn't seem like an issue to me. some of the sensory things did however.

Anyways...I could hear what she was asking Konor to do, and he seemed to be doing very well. Of course, not acting up for a stranger and his being shy went away quickly as the woman was very sweet and kind.She has a son adopted from China, only a day older than Konor.

Well, she told me she was disappointed to tell me that she won't be reccomending therapy for Konor. That is the way she put it,lol. Said he was so well-mannered and behaved... lol..Most the things he did..esp the motor skills were of that of a 5yo..and others as a 4yo, which he is close to.
She told me she will run the scores and thinks there may be some sensory issues like I know..and will give me advice and have us come back in 3 mos.
Konor has done 'strange' things since a baby.. Like putting the corner of his 'pillow' into his eye.. HATES and I MEAN HATES having his nails trimmed and hair washed. I've tried many things, so I'm excited to hear her advice on that especially.

Well it was very comforting and reassuring to know that most is that he is a boy..and so a lil different, more hyper, and he seems especially smart. I've been told this all his life as he's always been advanced. Ped says they will test his IQ when he is older.
As I went to get Zee, the other teacher was telling me she wanted to a certain work cos Konor did it, and tho she is one of the youngest in the class...she didn't think she was capable.. SHE WAS

So, looks like I have two pretty darn smart kids on my hands..
Konor is learning to sound out words and reading some. Other day he read the sign that said, "sale" :)
I'm going to try to keep them both in Montessori as long as we can. Their school teaches Kindergarten. Another bigger Montessori school on south side teaches up to age 9 or something..4th grade?
If both going there full time and I don't have a baby or young one at home, I will work partime to help pay for that. I just really don't want them to go to the public school here that is only 2 blocks away. However even tho it is old and cute..and in historic rich neighborhood in town..they bus the projects kids..and in my research and listening to other parents. That school doesn't help gifted/talented kids much, only the developmentally challenged /special ed.

I read an article in E parent (sil and her late mom) worked for them in NYC; about yogakids for highley energetic kids who can't seem to be still..Konor.

Well, enuff for today, just wanted to update for y'all.
We're all watching the wizard of oz. On T.V. but didn't want to watch ads, so put in the dvd. Dirk,Zilya,Konor,&Dad are all sitting together on couch..too darn cute! (took a pic)

nite

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Wed, Nov 7, 2007 6:25 PM
Zilya is going to represent Huntsville as Hometown Queen!
I'll be trying to sell ads and such soon, or 1st of year I'm sure, to help pay for her 'required' entry to the STATE pageant in Dothan, AL. (south)

If she wins state in her division, she has paid entry to NATIONALS, in July in St.Louis MO> we have to pay travel/room,dress of course.

This is still fun and exciting tho. I've fallen addicted as has zee...
I'm officially a pageant mom!

Ok, so the STATE is Mar 15,16, just days after her 3rd bday..ugh, so I think this means she gets bumped up to Lil Miss, and it costs more than baby/tiny miss..ugh

I emailed and made an offer..hee he..in my mind, EVERYTHING is negotiatable.

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Sun, Nov 4, 2007 7:51 PM
what a wknd.. so stressful...kids aren't listening at all anymore... and driving us both insane. I don't know what to do.

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Katie: Hope you are having a better week!

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Thu, Nov 1, 2007 2:44 PM
For the first time ever the American Diabetes Association's Tour de Cure cycling fundraiser event is coming to Alabama with events in Huntsville and Birmingham. The event will be held on May 17, 2008, but they are offering free registration for those who sign up to participate before Dec 15th, 2007. The Tour de Cure is a challenging cyclist event that encourages both the avid and recreational cyclist in raising funds for diabetes research and educational programs while having a great time. For more info, call Doris Lewis at (256) 539-4404.

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Thu, Nov 1, 2007 2:22 PM
Bridge Street Centre Photos
It's finally here! We've waited a long time for Bridge Street to open--and it opened today, Nov. 1st. Bridge Street Town Centre Huntsville, located in Cummings Research Park, consist of 2 million sq. ft. of upscale retail stores, restaurants and class-A office space, plus a Westin Hotel, 10 acre lake and Monaco Pictures. I was out there Monday while they were putting the finishing touches on everythingj--here's the photos.
http://huntsville.about.com/od/retailshopping/ig/Bridge-Street/Bridge-Street.--LB.htm

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