Konor & Zilya

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< > July 2006

• Mon, Jul 17, 2006 6:27 PM

  wow, been long time since posted.
  Konor is doing wonderfully w/potty training. He is now recognizing when has to go, and stops playing, and runs to bathroom. However, hasn't pooped in potty yet. argh..tho hear that takes longer. We went to gymnastics in big boy pants n all was fine. Peed in potty there too. Did have 'accident' in carseat in which I had to wash cover tho.
  
  Konor is a great kid, wonderful big brother, and helper. He loves to help carry grocery bags into house. He will give Zily a toy or her wuvvy or wooby or whatever they call it, whenever she is upset. He says, "is ok, zz,here ya go" So sweet. And still, my most prized moments are at bedtime. She too now gives kisses and loves to blow kisses. And when I put her to bed, they both give big smooches to ea other. It is the cutest thing and melts my heart every night. Konor will grab her head and give a HUGE kiss to her! And she says, mmmuh and blows him or whomever near a kiss as well. Too freakin cute really.
  I'm lucky to enjoy seeing this on nighly basis.
  It makes all the troubles of tantrums, etc of day just disappear.
  They are such adorable children and I love them sooo much! My babies!
  
  We had a scary moment where I had to bail out and wreck into a cotton field last week. I witnessed 2 deaths. It was horrid and tragic. I'm thankful for having the knowledge to drive like I did and save my own children and self from becoming a part of the accident. I am greatful that we are all still alive. It only reminded me that I need a living will for me. If I die, I of course want daddy todd to take kids. But what if we both die? Then, well we discussed ages ago. Our parents are too old as are his siblings and my siblings aren't even canidates. So, I've chosen a really good friend. They're young enough and would have the means to care for our kids and our kids would have a trust fund for later. It is scary to think of these things. but need to be done. If I pass before todd, I don't want my family interferring, trying to get my kids that they barely know, just cos me/todd weren't religiously married.
  That would be detrementrial to them.
  I would hope they know better.
  
  I want my kids to go to brandi and vince neal. My best friends in the world. the best parents i've ever known.
  
  hopefully that'll never have to happen. even if i get breast cancer, my kids should be of legal age by then or close, just like I was w/my mum.
  
  I hate to think that they will be adults w/o parents,but hell...many have done it and they don't need to be clinging on to us by then.
  
  I was 20 when mum died.
  
  It is hard to say who will outlive whom. Todd's age and heart family history and my bcancer family history.
  
  we will probably die w/in weeks of one another I predict.
  
  Tho, I don't want to think about that. I saw 2 horrible deaths last week. It was tragic and I think will always remain with me now. When I drove again, all I could think was, wow, you,you, you...me..looking at other cars around me.. could be DEAD just like that, GONE forever.
  I hate cars.
  I'm scared of the girls driving. #1 cause of death at their ages now. ugh!
  I know that neither would have had knowledge/experience behind wheel to do what I did to avoid an inment death. THAT scares me.
  I fear them dying in a stupid car wreck.
  I don't know how my parents let me/sis drive.
  I'm thankful for all daddy taught me..and what mum said too in my early driving yrs.
  
  well, better hit the hay..daddy todd off saving world..and i have big day tomorrow!! :)
  
  my last comment is this:
  I love all of you who have stood by me..supported me and listened. I love you for allowing me to be your friend to listen to you.
  I love you for not saying stupid bunk things that god looked out for me, when 2 others died in front of me. I love you for being glad we made it out ok. I love you for agreeing with me. I love you, i luv u.

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