This whole ''drowning'' thing in Ga has got my goat.. I''m goin'' nutty looking for info, talking w/Lea of MFWSC and the local news.. I may be on again. Folks out of no where are now contacting ME! go figure.
I never thought I could be like Lea, but when the story suits me and if I can help.. well, ya know.
Just all so crazy, and yet so sad..
"reality check" makes me realize I WAS AND AM still a good mum.. that I did what I could w/the knowledge that I had. I wasn''t neglegent w/my child, and surely not now.. as I''m as paranoid as hell!!
But still, some of it is common sense..and some people..ugh.. so sad.
I feel for the parents, and yet I am angry. There is no heaven,hell, only death. eternity. They will suffer that alone. (no one in particular,everyone gone thru losing a child to drowning)
But our society will do so much to the parents of such a tragedy. But yet they are not much unlike those of the tsunami.
All of it sux..and tonight, as my child threw up on me, then clutched my side and the infant spit up.. i can now just laugh and be happy that they are still HERE. I love them soo dang much.
Well, Konor is sick for 1st time other than that rsv crap when born. He had a pretty high fever yesterday, that went down quickly w/tylonol, but is still low grade and has a bad runny nose and is just acting out of sorts today. Luckily he has his appetite back.
He is such a monkey boy, climbing on window sill, top of sofa, top of activity table, then tries to get on end table! aaah..!
Says, down, light, eat, mumma, dad, doggie, itty, said, ''aby''(baby)today.
When tired, konor has fav throw pillow he takes and places w/the corner of and pokes himself in the eyes. .weird, but cute.
So far zilya doing great and not sick...hoping she doesn''t catch it!
Konor is 15mos old today!! Goes tomorrow for dr check up.. will update those stats tomorrow!
had a decent wknd, crawfish boil, see pix. today met daddy/friends at macaroini grill for lunch.
konor talking/walking.. nothing new. zilya, not zyla as some ignorantly say, is doing well, smiling some and more wakeful during day. what a pretty girl!@
just got home, but didn''t go to the dreaded grocery store, lol..
I took the kids to my friends moms house. her moms roommate,friend, does in home daycare, so it was nice having konor playing w/a boy, mason, his age and seeing other kids too. we went outside, soo nice out and esp over there cos always windy. the subdivision used to be a cotton field, so no trees. They had some plastic toddler play equipment.. Konor had a blast. But could tell he was getting cranky, tired and hungry so we had to go. It was easier than going to the park where the big kids push the lil ones around. and Todd will be glad to hear we actually got outside, lol!
Konor is napping now, as is Zily bean!
Well, last nite was the 2nd nite we had Zilya in her crib. My back has been killing me, esp getting her out of bassinet @ nite and her grunting keeps us up, thinking she wants fed when doesn''t. Yesterday she slept 2-6am straight. Last nite I put her in crib @ 11pm and woke in a panic @ 2:40am, turned up monitor and then woke Todd to go check on her cos I was scared! I soo hate those feelings, and had them w/each baby. Esp when they 1st sleep like 6-8hrs straight. I[m always soo scared of finding her dead/smothered, SIDS.. I swaddle her and have sleeping w/a sleep positioner and now w/t the crib being bigger, more room for her to breathe fresh air.. but still.. it''s hard. Anyway, she ate some, put her back @ 3am, woke, 5am-ish and back up @ 7am. Then Todd puts her in bed w/me and the boppy and I woke up @ 9am finally hearing konor. He was just playing, and who knows how long he''s been up. I forgot to turn on his monitor when I put her in bed w/me. I can''t run both monitors as they interfer w/ea and make annoying sounds. So that was my nite..
Konor said, nana this am when I went to reach for his banana, and go figure, sesame street had elmo on talking about bananas! he is also saying ''thank you'' and light now.. finally speaking a lil more, but still hard to understand him if he points at something and speaks..lol..
konor is a riot! today he has learned to do a sommersalt, what a little gymnast! and he is walking w/his eyes closed, too funny! he also is pointing to and saying ''light'' and said thank you several times today.
we go days, wks w/o a change in him, then suddenly he does something new.
he loves music, and learning to dance!!
what a fun joyful boy he is!
I been taking Xenedrine and giving me lots more energy. Il ost 3 # in one wk! I''m under my pre pg weight, and only like 8# to go to be where I want to be! :) I went shopping last nite, by myself for 1st time and was amazed that I was fitting into sz 7''s again!! Now, if I could just staty un pg for about a yr, lol
I''m getting a monitor from freecyle! icon_wink.gif Ours fried last yr and been borrowing this one...
rainy and gotta find a way to get Sadie to vet somehow w/these two in tow??
Someone may go rescue roxy from pound!! icon_smile.gif
Friend in GA said she sold house! icon_sad.gif so now she too is going back to PA icon_sad.gif I don''t know details and no wonder she hasn''t been in touch as much past few wks, been apparently busy! This blows, everyone is leaving.. dh needs to get a job out of state now.. I too no longer have a reason to be here, esp since I"m not talking to sister..again...
Dad isn''t coming till some time nxt mo now.. whatever, oh well...
So tired... Zily did a good 4hr stretch, but kept fussing, then I had some weird dreams waking me..
Took my diet pill, so hopefully I''ll get some energy here soon.
started laundry, but still haven''t decided if I''m gonna make it out today, I doubt I can take dog to vet.. she is 80# and then what, Zilya in sling and Konor on hip?? crazy/hard...
Sun is peeking thru
woman from local am red cross just emailed me. Wanting to know what she/they can do to help me promote water safety awareness as the weather is warming and pools will be opening soon, and about national water safety and remembrance day in July. I haven''t any plans yet, perhaps a gathering or blood mobile. I''ve always been pg or low iron or too thin and never been able to donate. I hope to this july in honor kyla.
turns out dude w/monitor works w/dh, small world!
someone emailed about roxy too. (did I already say that? losing mind,lol)
babies napping, and i had light popcorn for lunch, lol.. gonna lay dwn and decide what to do later. sun is out in full force and it''s 74!
I can only say, "I try" and will continue to do so. Was so easy to be ambitious after her drowning.. but she is still a part of ours and some close friends every day lives. Seeing her picture, makes people realize she was real..and that it can happen to them or someone they love.. it happens sooo damn fast!! And I''m not just worried about kids/babies w/pools/tubs.. but folks who swim in oceans, rivers.. aka his kids in ski doos and canoes like a friend and white water rafting..etc.. dh saw/found a drown/bloated man when he was a teen canoeing.. and a teen drown while they fished at nite.. his experience goes far beyond losing his dd.
Spring is wonderful.. but only brings warmer weather that brings on drownings..then there is fall, where people think the warning is over and then there is only a rise.. all too pitifully sad..
well. :( Roxy is gone. She got into another bad fight w/Sadie yesterday. I was so livid I threw her out of the yard, saying/hoping the dog catchers get her..but dumbass me left her tags on. She came back 1/2 hr later. Sadie''s head/ear is tore up and ear is all puffy. Worst is her ''armpit'' under her leg, huge gash, can see the muscle..gross. I ended up driving in the rain to take roxy to the pound. they have an adopt a thon this and nxt wknd, so I hope she gets adopted. I tried for a month to get her a home. It was soo sad, I cried all the way there, saying good bye and home. and now I am again. but what choice do I have? I had some antibiotics left over from last fight, as I was in hosp and todd forgot to have her finish them off. So she had a dose last nite and this am. I also found some pain pill from lil dog when he had surgery and gave her 1.5 of those. We took her to vet this am, another $200.. so todd says, guess we''re keeping her w/all she is costing us now. Had to leave her over nite as they are gonna knock her out to put stiches in. And a drainage shunt as the wound needs to be left open. Poor thing.. We haven''t told his girls yet, but they knew it was gonna happen, soo. sux.. so sad.. we''re gonna miss that dumb dog..
Zilya has been more awake and alert during day early evening, but still lil sleep here. and less time if at all on net. she is having tummy probs like my 1st dd and is on alimentum right now then will go back ot isomil to see if that is what is up. Konor is doing great too w/her and tries to give kisses and gives or takes her bottle/paci..lol...
_________________Busy, tired.. and pc locks up every time I try to type anymore. Dh did good this wkdn, letting me sleep, or try to. Weather was great, so he MADE me get out for a short walk around the neighborhood, which was cool, w/both in double stroller for 1st time. Every day I have so much I want to do, but if I end up napping, nothing gets really done, ya know.. So tired this time around not being able to nap as much cos I gotta be awake for konor.
Konor is doing great, talking more, and climbing a lot more, monkey boy,lol. And nearly running now, well tries, lol..
Took Zilya to newborn ck up this am while dh stayed home w/Konor. She is now 7lbs 14oz and 19.5". Her tummy seems to be upset and nasty pooh, so trying Alimentum for a few days and go back to Isomil to see if that is the prob. Had same deal w/kyla and she was fine once we went back to isomil, so, we''ll see.